Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Morning Coffee Contemplation

It is rainy today...which kind of sucks because I can't smoke a cigarette while I drink this cup of coffee(I prefer all my vices at once in the morning). Today is shaping up to be a bad day already. Last night all I dreamt about was sex. It was one of those weird nights where I dreamt a million different little dreams instead of one big one. All my dreams were different scenarios, that all ended the same way! It was like reading a hundred Harlequin books. The plots were bad and my mind was skipping to the sex parts! I woke up half humping myself while the cat was looking at his empty dish and howling. Good Morning America!

I talked to Mr. Perfect on the phone last night. Yes, we talk on the phone every night. I know its not proper break-up etiquette. Every night I tell myself I'm not going to answer...I try really hard....but in the end who am I kidding? I know its not healthy to keep answering the phone but I cant help it. Am I waiting for some fairytale ending? Do I think that one night he is going to call me and say he cant live without me another minute? Or is it just a crutch of self pity. Every time he calls I cant help but to feel that pang of "woe is me". Is that what I want? More reasons to stay locked up in the house, smoking weed and being depressed. Nobody expects anything from you when your in a state of depression.

Hmm. Well more on this later. Today I have a fun filled day of rainy activities. Laundry...cleaning...cat love...then work. With a schedule like that who couldn't escape depression?

No comments:

Post a Comment