So lately my life has been filled with blue balls. Yes that's right.
Me and Mr. Perfect still cant seem to stay away from each other for very long.I am trying so hard to ignore his calls and my urges to call him. It is time for me to rid myself of this problem. It is time to shed this cocoon of a relationship that will never be.
And what has brought me to this conclusion? Blue Balls. Every time me and him are together my need for him is boiling over. I'm practically humping his leg like a dog in heat. But what is he doing? Nothing. He kisses me back if I kiss him. But he doesn't look at me with that burning desire, he doesn't feel the burning need that is eating me alive. And thus, by the time I go home my balls are so blue it would put the sky to shame. I don't think he loves me anymore. I have just become a crutch to him. A crutch of normality. Someone that will always love him and dote upon him no matter what.
So in this conclusion, I have decided to really move on...for good. So how does a normal, intelligent, independent woman of the millennium get over a man? Sex. I don't care what anyone says. Though it may not be for long, sex with another man always helps a woman forget an ex. So I turned to a fella I met in college. Well actually I guess he really turned to me. We had flirted with each other for months. All innocent of course. I was with Mr. Perfect and he was single. So when Mr. Perfect and I broke up I contacted Mr. College but it turned out that he was now in a relationship. So I congratulated him and we stopped talking.
A few months later he contacted me and asked me if I wanted to hangout. Thinking that this was a clear indication that he and his girly were through, I agreed. A few days later we were having a really good time at his apartment. Then he felt the need to tell me that he was still with his girlfriend. OK, whatever, we can still be friends right? No. We totally had sex. Oops. I feel bad but not really, call me what you want but I have my own issues. I cant burden his moral issues as well. He chose to ruin his relationship, I just helped.
But anyway, so over the last couple of months we've had sex a few times. But the last time finally cut me into moral second thought. His girlfriend probably sleeps in the bed we have had nasty sex in. That's not right. I do have a little bit of goodness left in me.
So a few days ago he wrote me telling me he wanted to fuck me while he was at work. At first I was a little turned on (sorry 90% of me still bad), but then I felt guilty again. He wanted to cheat on his girlfriend so bad with me, he wanted to fuck at work. (Always the bridesmaid, never the bride). But anyway so I told him I would do it. Then I hyped him up real bad. Sending him all kinds of filthy texts. He told me to meet him at 11:45. Well that time came and went, and ladies, let me just say...he called me 5 times. 5 Fucking times. Men. I swear. When you are together they hardly call. But when you promise to fuck them in a bathroom they start blowing up your phone.
Blue Balls. I tell you what, it changes people.